The Maid quit and the Nanny is MIA.

Sticks and Stones might break my bones but names (and your nasty comments) won’t hurt me. I try really hard to always remember that when I go about my business. Sometimes its easier said than done. Like many I don’t allow what negative things people have to say bring me down or somehow think their twisted comments define who I am.

Today I did and I allowed myself to get on the defensive and justify my actions and myself. I started swinging with every ball they tried to strike me out with. I feel like I hit their comments out of the park. After it was all said and done, I couldn’t help but think they really don’t get it nor will they.

This is really ironic, because I use to think that way when I worked in the corporate world.  Nothing in my mind was greater, and if you stayed at home you had an easy job. I would wake up in the morning get the kids ready, drop them off at daycare. Do my hair, do my makeup and feel fabulous as I slipped on my designer suit and put on my fancy heels. Talked with other like minded people and put one foot in front of the other trying to climb that never ending corporate ladder.

When my position at the corporate job was relocating to Texas my partner stated I should try to move out of state to where he was located than to Texas. So that was the start of my new journey and where my focus turned. No longer working, staying at home trying to figure out how I could move across the Country with two boys and how to do it.

Four years later ( a total of five), I am still in the same state literally and figuratively. I stay at home with not two but three little boys, going to school, being the CEO of my household and doing it as a single mom.

I have had other moms say it’s hard and they understand. The only difference is I don’t have a husband that comes home. Now I am not saying that when their husband comes home they just dump the kids at their feet. I am saying they at least get companionship. To have a helper, one who encourages, one who is there for you spiritually, physically, and emotionally. One who does work with you to build the foundation and like a balance beam, give and take. Reciprocation. You can go and “run away” for a few hours with out your whole crew, you do have the luxuries to get your nails and hair done, go shopping, spend a few hours with your girlfriends. I get that rarely. My family and friends have blessed me by always being there, however I don’t like to always ask or count on them because really it’s not their responsibility to give me a break.

I don’t want to sound like I am complaining and it might seem like I am. I am not complaining, I am blessed by my situation and I cherish the fact that I am with my boys.

It just bothers me when I get the statements about how I could be overwhelmed when all I do is go to school for a couple of hours and stay home with my boys. 

So since the Nanny quit and the Maid is MIA,  I love my new roles ` SAHM – CEO of my household, Chuffer, Nurse, Therapist, Maid, private Chef, Referee, dishwasher. Some simple things I do enjoy, A chilled juice box in the sandbox on a warm summer day, watching movies with my crew with M&M’s mixed with  popcorn, taking my boys to baseball, soccer, AWANA, Church, and many other activities they do. I love sitting down together for breakfast, dinner and talking about our day, praying with them as we share all our blessings. Getting kisses and thank you’s after the many meltdowns. If I am lucky I get a whole five minutes to take a shower at the end of the day and actually get to blow dry my hair without any interruptions. It’s a good day when I can blow dry my hair and no one comes in screaming that they have a splitting lip, someone who punched the other one too hard, spilling juice all over the floor, or just coming by to find me and asking where I went for five minutes and if I was ok.

One day I will look back on all of this when my boys are grown and cherish these memories (I do cherish them now). Although they are sometimes hectic and overwhelming, this precious time with my boys is a huge blessing. The glamorous life of juice boxes, band-aids, Chuck E Cheese, mac n cheese, will have to do for now because the Maid quit and the Nanny is MIA.

It's a Ho`olaule`a for my Keiki kane

My son is having a Hawaiian themed  La hanau party. Ever since he was a little boy and I took him to the Island of Maui he was hooked. He has been to both the Big Island of Hawaii where he swam next to the sea Honu and Maui where the warm smell of plumeria remind us of the sweet memories of Aloha . He has been a total of three times, I can't begin to count for myself. Ever since I was 2-14 years old I would spend my summers in Maui. Now its just so sporadically, we cherish the moments we have spent there.

As I am planning my oldest Keiki kane birthday I wanted to give his invitations an added Hawaiian feel. On a SMB "single mom's budget" It's hard to do everything I would like to do. I have to cut corners so others can be a perfect square. With that said, I printed out his invitations old school style. There is a photo of a surfboard and as an added Hawaiian feel. I googled the translation from English words to Hawaiian.  I thought it was decent, I mean no one really saves the invitations anyway right? After I finished the google translations and placed the invitations in their envelopes and sealed it. A shiver ran down my spine, I mean what if what I thought I wrote wasn't the true meaning of the word and I said something else? Just my luck right?

Now that the invitations are complete, my main INTEREST is PINTEREST. I understand some people don't understand the point of this site. I like to think of it as this Mommy's sidekick;  Have you ever liked something in a magazine and cut it out or saved the whole magazine because there were recipes or design ideas you wanted to try? Well this is a whole virtual way to look at ideas, save trees, space in your house, and organizes your ideas with pin boards. I have to admit I see some serious pinners on that site. I can't wait to try out some of the creative ideas I put on my boards. I can't make everything. However with my talented friends and my determination I am sure I can come close to some for my son's upcoming Hawaiian  Ho`olaule`a!!!!

As soon as I finished this blog entry my son called me from his fathers to tell me he would rather go to his Church camp for that weekend then have a party. I asked him why, he said he would rather be in the Word  learning new things about God and applying them verses a party. I couldn't argue and I was blown away. He thanked me for thinking of him and appreciated my understanding. I can't believe how mature my soon to be 12 year old boy is. I am so blessed to be apart of a wonderful church,  great family, and spectacular friends that walk alongside me as I raise three boys who assist me with guiding my boys in truth, love, and faith.

I am overflowing with such blessings in my life.

Would you hold my hand

My mother called me yesterday to tell me that she couldn’t believe how calm she was. Curious I asked her to continue with what she meant, did my brother do something, did she find a mouse in the house, what was it?  On her way home she noticed two women pushing a car while others were driving away and speeding down the road. She kindly asked her husband to turn around and give some assistance. When she pulled over she saw the woman who was pushing the car, under it. Still no one was stopping. My mother who faints at the drop of anything serious, was amazingly calm. She spoke to the woman who was screaming in severe pain. My mother shouted to the other woman who was by the car to call 911. The other woman appeared to be her daughter and she called her father. The daughter calmly said the car stalled and really had no idea of the severity of the situation. My mother told her to get off the phone and call 911. The woman was screaming in pain, and my mother was telling her not to move and placed her jacket over the woman. By this time after what seemed like hours of cars passing three people stopped. What happened or what was assumed ~  the mother was pushing the car while holding the steering wheel and her daughter was pushing from behind. The mother slipped on her sandal, the car ran her over and hit a tree and stopped.

As my mother was talking to the woman who was screaming in severe pain, my mother touched her hand and started praying over her. My mother asked her if she believed in Jesus and started praying to him. She kept saying to the woman not to fear that Jesus is here and it will be ok. She did the best to keep this woman calm and alert until the ambulance arrived.

I still can’t believe when my mother told me this story that people actually still drove by after they saw the woman on the ground and her car smashed into a tree. I also find it very touching that my mother prayed over this woman.

How many times do we see people in need and drive by assuming the next person will do something? Or call 911 as we drive down the street without stopping, because clearly our agenda is more important.What happened to our society? Are we really that selfish that we can’t see past the ME?  It makes me feel good to know that my mother stopped and held this woman’s hand and prayed over her, who knows what is going to happen next? What if that was the woman’s final moments, or if she just needed someone to hold her hand and say it would be ok.
  

Have you ever stepped up in emergency situation with a random person, were you able to follow up with that person? Do you regret seeing something and driving/walking by and not stopping?

Another chapter in my life will be closing

Today I found out my oldest son’s, fathers, grandmother, is passing. She has congestive heart failure and is in and out of consciousness. I was told they read her the last rights? I think that is what they call it. I am not sure exactly. I just know they don’t give her more than two weeks to live. I have known my son’s father and his family since I was 18 years old. I am now 33 and despite our differences with our son, we still remained friends and I have been close with his family. Today was hard; I spoke to my ex’s mother after she texted me. I was told I could say goodbye, they would put me on speaker, they didn’t think she would understand or know what’s going on but as respect I could have some closure. I was put on speaker to say my goodbyes to a wonderful woman whom I have known for the past 15 years. I didn’t say goodbye, instead I talked about our memories and how much she meant in my life, her grandson’s and great-grandson’s life, along with many other people who adore her and whom she has impacted with her life.

If you asked me two years ago if I have been faced with death I would tell you I was fortunate by only having three people who have been close to me pass. It now seems that its all I am faced with, around every corner death awaits. The biggest blow was when my brother passed unexpectedly. Makes you wonder if people are ready for the next step in life. I am a very spiritual person, I believe in God and I known and understand what that means to be a Christian. I don’t fear death, rather the people who I would be leaving behind. With that said I also stand by blind faith that whatever happens, it’s not something I could or would understand. Who am I to question God?

After the phone call I was crying with  Linda she told me her mother blinked and moved her eyes. It made me feel good however I know that is just a reflex; apart of me wants to believe she did know that I was talking to her. Linda’s father passed away three years ago. Linda flew down and I drove her to the hospital and sat with her countless times while she said her goodbyes,held her daddy's hand and we just waited, and waited. My heart goes out to her. To lose one parent and to be losing another one is just so devastating. Death in general is devastating for those left behind.

I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and one day we shall meet again. Making every moment count now and not being on the fast track in life. Really taking time to stop and cherish the moments and relish in the beauty and blessings that God has given to us.